Missing Nemesis
by Tiger Empress 546
Summary: This is a parody of Perry the Platypus's "break up" with Dr Doof, and Izaya is replaced by Izumii to become Shizuo's new rival, and it's NOT YAIO! It's a friendship only fanfic. I do not own Phineas and Ferb, nor do I own Durarara! Enjoy and please review!


Izaya was stealthily making his way to where he was to meet Shizuo for their little 'get-together,' which was their special way of saying, kill each other, or at least try to anyways.

Izaya was preparing to barge down Shizuo's door, when all of a sudden... "IZUMII!"

Wait a minute! That wasn't the usual name that Shizuo used to address him, come to think of it that wasn't his name at all!

Using his switchblade to unlock the door, Izaya barged in, only to witness Shizuo about to hurl a couch towards a closed closet door. Upon hearing the info broker enter, the ex bartender set the couch down in a rather shocked and nervous manner.

"Izaya, what are you doing here?"

The blonde adjusted his sunglasses, while his rival studied him in a critical fashion. The tension between the two arch enemies was interrupted by a loud noise inside the closet that Shizuo was previously aiming the couch at, which made the info broker even more suspicious.

"I have mice." Was the only excuse given to him by the blonde, before Izaya angrily marched towards the closet, with Shizuo attempting to stop him.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you!"

No sooner than the door to the closet was swung open, then the info broker met an imposing man with slick black hair, with sunglasses, and a huge burn scar across his face, while wielding a large sledgehammer.

Neither spoke a word, as Shizuo came in between them to smooth the tension over. "Izaya, I have never seen this guy before I swear! I don't even know the punk's name!"

"Sure you do, Shizuo, old buddy. It's Ran Izumii! We go way back. Even before you came along, flea!"

Izaya flinched. Only Shizuo-chan could address him as flea, not some street punk who somehow managed to take his place as Shizuo's most hated rival. The brunnete turned to Shizuo, who by now was literally scared at being caught like this.

"It's not what it looks like, Izaya! We're not enemies! We are just bad friends!"

Izumii grinned at the blonde sadistically. "Why were you trying to throw a couch at me, before, Shizuo-chan?"

Izaya growled lowly. No one was to ever call the bartender that, except for him, and him alone! Izaya immediately aimed his switchblade towards the unaware blonde, who hung his head in shame.

"Sorry, Izaya. I didn't want you to find out this way. Okay, here it is. Izumii, is my new enemy." "What?" Izaya cried, barely able to contemplate what Shizuo had just said to him.

"We met awhile back while I was on the job, and, well, me and Izumii just instantly disliked each other. He made a comment about my brother of how he could wipe the floor with him, and I threw a vending machine at him. And, I didn't plan it that way, it just happened."

The blonde then turned to the hammer weilding maniac. "Izumii be a chum and grab me another cigarette will ya?"

"Sure thing, Shizuo-chan!" He managed to drag out the nickname, making Izaya shiver with both rage and hurt. As Izumii left for a moment, Shizuo turned to his now ex rival. "

It's not that I don't hate you anymore, Izaya. I do, really I do, but look, I-I think it's time we took a break and started fighting other people."

Izumii returned with a cigarette as he lit for Shizuo. "Thank you, Izumii." "You're most welcome, Shizuo-chan!"

" _If he says that word one more time I swear!"_

"I think it's time you and I had a clean break, OK?" "So, where was I? Oh, yeah!" Izumii, you dare set foot in Ikebokorugh!"

Shizuo then proceeded to hurl the couch at Izumii once again, until he noticed the informant was still present.

"Uh, Izaya, you're-you're making this harder than it needs to be. Go on, it's over now!" Shizuo set the couch down, while ushering his ex rival out the door. Izaya pointed to where Izumii had gotten a hold of a gun from somewhere.

'Oh that? Bullets don't affect me, remember. I'm practically invincible to the likes of him! Don't worry! We'll see each other again. Goodbye, Izaya."

The ex bartender shut the door, while Izaya was left in tears. "He didn't even address him as he used to anymore.

"I guess it really is over for us, Shizuo-chan." Izaya murmured sadly. "We had a good run while it lasted. Farewell, forever." "IIZZUMMMIII!" Came the cry that sent Izaya running back to his apartment, where not even Namie's critical presence, nor Celty's head could comfort him.

He was left heartbroken by the same person that was always ready to physically break him whenever the opportunity presided itself. Not anymore. He had lost his rival forever, and he would never recover.


End file.
